A large Bravo, but maybe not an Encore

I'm blown away by my dad and the perseverance, passion, and class he has shown running his campaign for Utah State Senate. To run as a democrat in the state of Utah is a feat in itself. You run the risk of being opposed on every idea you raise before you're able to articulate word one.
In defense of this beautiful state's politics-it is the way it is because that is the will and word of its people, and that is correct. But Utah, you're missing out. I firmly believe there is much to be gained by an increase in bipartisanship (in most all situations) but particularly and relevantly, here in Utah.
We are so blessed to carry different skills, thoughts and opinions. I feel like we aren't maximizing and benefiting from this truth when we have one party's candidate forever and ever voted 9.5 out of 10 times, every time (ha). I guess my real beef is the option to vote straight democrat or straight republican at the start of our ballots. Doesn't this do an extreme injustice to those candidates who put in long hours, money and faith into sharing their message and promoting those improvements they wish to implement? Instead we can just skip past ever even seeing their names.
Moving away from that... I am so happy we live in such a wonderful country-surrounded by people interested in doing good, and my hope is that these next 4 years bring necessary change and increased cooperation.

Crazy proud of my dad and the hard work he put in to participating in something he so believes in!

Car Problems

I have the patience of a mature 5 and a half year old. It's kind of like I just realized that other people have their own feelings and thoughts, and that an outside world exists outside my own mind.
So for this and many other reasons I am grateful that my darling boyfriend possesses strengths that I do not. We were up in Bear Lake for a Halloween party this past weekend thrown by my friend Courtney. Most of us stayed the night afterwards, but most did not have to leave after 3 hours of sleep like lucky Todd and I. I needed to be back to help with canvassing for my dad's campaign so we were off at first light.

Thanks to the turbo's malfunctioning on Todd's Audi, he has to add water to the coolant something or it overheats and affects his transmission. He was checking it before we left and accidentally dropped the cap somewhere in the engine area......... We spent about an hour looking for it, then drove down to his brother's gas station to continue looking with the help of better tools. Another hour later, with the assistance of the crew there we found it and we were off! Without heat (the wires had been affected). But then the light came on to tell us we were over-heating, again. So we had to stop about every 8-10 minutes to add river run off water to the coolant thing (?) which was pretty decently cracked by this point, to the extent that water was just rushing through. Todd has been working on his car for the past several months and must have been out of his mind frustrated at this point. I'm not the most help when it comes to things dealing with cars, I mean had it been a Japanese car-I would've been all over it, but German cars-I just don't know much (haha).

Finally we got to Logan and tried a couple different products the Auto Zone had to offer. The second one worked, a putty to jam up the hole that the water was leaking through. And 2.5 hours later we were leaving Logan. I tell this story in part because it was ridiculous, and in part because I am so impressed by some people's natural ability to be pleasant no matter the situation, take things as they come, and stay a healthy amount of grounded when they are upset.

In summation: It's fun to learn from people who have different strengths and skills than you, and also to feel appreciated for strengths you possess that they don't. :)

Good friends, good life, poor photo quality

Finally got to have the back-porch night I've been wanting. The weather was great and you don't find cooler people than my co-workers/bffs. I'm actually kinda obsessed with my back porch.. and my room..and the Hollywood House in general.

 Hare Krishna, back in full force. Festival of Colors is cool, but I'm too claustrophobic. And it made my car ridiculously chalky-go figure. 

Spent some good time in SLC roof sitting, enjoying a Sunday gelato, looking at road bikes (this weekend I'm committing to one!)




















Umm I wore some shoes.. made for a good picture. As did the temple. But mainly my shoes.

 Aaand my job is a pain sometimes, but every once in a while we are rewarded nicely. Nordstrom gift cards all around for helping out with the boys.  These boys:

Lastly, I don't think I could be sadder that Ms. Alex is going to be leaving me. She's been a great roommate, a really great listener and a reaaaally quiet sleeper. :) She keeps me in check and always supports me-aaaand I love her.

Asking for it

I'm not going to pretend like I've never thought, "are you kidding me-that girl is asking for it" when I see some woman running by herself at night, and I've never argued on the side of feminism.
Having said that, I do get extremely frustrated by the limitations I feel just by being a woman.
The first time I became particularly aware of how restricting it can be was in L.A about 4 years ago. Santa Monica-9:00 P.M, my sister and bro-in-law are putting the kids to sleep and aaall I wanted to do was go for a walk. There was a huge lightning storm coming in from the west and there has never been anything more tempting for me than watching lightning on the water. But could I go? Are you kidding, no way. It's dark, and even the secluded wealth of Santa Monica can't be separated from the streets of L.A, especially the closer you get to the boardwalk.  Instead I had to wait for my sister, and honestly it probably still wasn't a good idea. I let myself enjoy it regardless, but it took some effort to swallow my feelings of legitimate uneasiness.

This is a truth I experience no joy in pointing out. I would love it if we lived in a world where I could do nice things for anyone: where I could pick up hitch-hikers, and take in the homeless, and just implicitly trust everyone I passed.
And I realize this isn't that world, but I'm not going to look at the girl running by herself at night and judge her for it anymore. And I don't think anyone else should either. There is nothing more liberating (to me) than having time to think and just be, by yourself. Running at night-right up there on the top of my list of things I find extremely rewarding. Last night, I was running by a park and I got to watch the sun set with some great music in my ear and not a soul around me. I have a right to that, and so does the girl I've always berated for her ignorance.

I think we just accept the way things are too often. Then we blame those who break these norms, when really we should be fighting for them, and for their right to break them. Someday soon I'm going to buy a dog, and I'm going to live somewhere it's always warm. And I'm going to be safe, smart and practical. But especially for now, I'm also going to work on being a little less judgmental, and a little more supportive.

Liberation

I chopped my hair off about a week ago, well my hair-and my adopted Taiwanese hair. It's been weird, especially when I'm blow drying it, and turn around to look in the mirror and realize Professor Snape somehow got into my bathroom, but I really love it. It's weird how we can let physical things define who we are. Also I just feel like short-ish (long-bobbin) hair is more reflective of me at the moment.
The reactions have been interesting, obviously no one is going to tell me they hate it, so everyone has been complimentary. Especially a girl at my work who informed me that I looked much more mature, then finished with "you looked like you were in high school before."
Oh, that's cool.
Aand you're welcome for spending 5 minutes talking about my hair. I'm racking my brains for something exciting to share but I've spent the last 14 hours sitting at this table doing my homework so all I'm thinking about is Ralph Waldo Emerson and calculating age-adjusted mortality rates. Goodnight!

My senior year self

I get so frustrated and irritated when I have to listen to some of the comments freshman make on campus. Because of this, and my inclination to introspective analysis, I've been thinking a lot about the changes the past four years have wrought in me. Don't misinterpret this as me thinking I am now knowledgeable and wise, but there has been so much change it's just really interesting for me to think about.
Freshman and sophomore years for me are already a blur of emotional evenings, terrifying situations, exciting opportunities, fights and break ups- and most unfortunately, silly decisions based of an overwhelmed perspective that college would last forever. My GPA wasn't important because I'd already been in school 14+ years, why on earth would I want to do any more than the bare minimum. Plus if I did I would just figure it out when it came.
Then came the day when I started to care. I love this learning thing, I love school, and I seriously love this Public Health stuff. Not only that, I know I would be exceptionally good at whatever I did with my degree. I know this because I've learned I have a highly addictive behavior and sincerely enjoy devoting myself to a purpose I believe in. Not only that, but I thrive in being a borderline recluse when I want-which has lately been the case. So now I'm left with 16 credits/semester, 20+ hours work/week, GRE prep, abstract resume building (research with professor, volunteer work), applying for internships, and my newest and most personal favorite: contacting CEO's until I find 8 who are willing to let me interview them. Aaaaand I have to pretty much kill it in every arena so I can "spin" this GPA I so purposefully neglected.

The most outstanding thing in my mind lately in terms of development, has been my self-inducement into the world of artsy individuals. I don't know how it took me so long to take my blinders off; but somewhere between my growing love affair with painting, Philosophy 110, Sun Dance Film Festival, the Brandi Carlile Pandora station and just removing myself from the mindset of personal barriers and limitations something clicked. I so appreciated a weekend spent in Midway with some of Emily's art history friends, so so much. We stayed up for hours analyzing ever ridiculous part of a film we saw up at Sun Dance, which led to politics, which led to people and at some point, amid all our talking I figured it out. I so enjoyed these people because I am one of these people; wringing every ounce of meaning and reason out of things is pretty much ALL I do.

Anyway, like always, I have to apologize for the melodramatics. My brain has a flare for excitement, and tends to talk in absolutes and extremes. I guuuuess my point is that I'm happy for the things I've learned, overwhelmed at the moment, and seriously eager for the future.

Isn't she the greatest? Emily Larsen comin attcha Berlin, Germany 2012