Monday, March 26, 2012

Asking for it

I'm not going to pretend like I've never thought, "are you kidding me-that girl is asking for it" when I see some woman running by herself at night, and I've never argued on the side of feminism.
Having said that, I do get extremely frustrated by the limitations I feel just by being a woman.
The first time I became particularly aware of how restricting it can be was in L.A about 4 years ago. Santa Monica-9:00 P.M, my sister and bro-in-law are putting the kids to sleep and aaall I wanted to do was go for a walk. There was a huge lightning storm coming in from the west and there has never been anything more tempting for me than watching lightning on the water. But could I go? Are you kidding, no way. It's dark, and even the secluded wealth of Santa Monica can't be separated from the streets of L.A, especially the closer you get to the boardwalk.  Instead I had to wait for my sister, and honestly it probably still wasn't a good idea. I let myself enjoy it regardless, but it took some effort to swallow my feelings of legitimate uneasiness.

This is a truth I experience no joy in pointing out. I would love it if we lived in a world where I could do nice things for anyone: where I could pick up hitch-hikers, and take in the homeless, and just implicitly trust everyone I passed.
And I realize this isn't that world, but I'm not going to look at the girl running by herself at night and judge her for it anymore. And I don't think anyone else should either. There is nothing more liberating (to me) than having time to think and just be, by yourself. Running at night-right up there on the top of my list of things I find extremely rewarding. Last night, I was running by a park and I got to watch the sun set with some great music in my ear and not a soul around me. I have a right to that, and so does the girl I've always berated for her ignorance.

I think we just accept the way things are too often. Then we blame those who break these norms, when really we should be fighting for them, and for their right to break them. Someday soon I'm going to buy a dog, and I'm going to live somewhere it's always warm. And I'm going to be safe, smart and practical. But especially for now, I'm also going to work on being a little less judgmental, and a little more supportive.






1 comment:

  1. Some Facebook stalk, others blog stalk...to each her own :). PS: This post is exactly how I feel. It's so frustrating to feel that just because I'm a girl, I "can't" or "shouldn't" do certain things. And it's hard to find the balance between being cautious and not just accepting all the bad stuff that goes on in the world.

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