My senior year self

I get so frustrated and irritated when I have to listen to some of the comments freshman make on campus. Because of this, and my inclination to introspective analysis, I've been thinking a lot about the changes the past four years have wrought in me. Don't misinterpret this as me thinking I am now knowledgeable and wise, but there has been so much change it's just really interesting for me to think about.
Freshman and sophomore years for me are already a blur of emotional evenings, terrifying situations, exciting opportunities, fights and break ups- and most unfortunately, silly decisions based of an overwhelmed perspective that college would last forever. My GPA wasn't important because I'd already been in school 14+ years, why on earth would I want to do any more than the bare minimum. Plus if I did I would just figure it out when it came.
Then came the day when I started to care. I love this learning thing, I love school, and I seriously love this Public Health stuff. Not only that, I know I would be exceptionally good at whatever I did with my degree. I know this because I've learned I have a highly addictive behavior and sincerely enjoy devoting myself to a purpose I believe in. Not only that, but I thrive in being a borderline recluse when I want-which has lately been the case. So now I'm left with 16 credits/semester, 20+ hours work/week, GRE prep, abstract resume building (research with professor, volunteer work), applying for internships, and my newest and most personal favorite: contacting CEO's until I find 8 who are willing to let me interview them. Aaaaand I have to pretty much kill it in every arena so I can "spin" this GPA I so purposefully neglected.

The most outstanding thing in my mind lately in terms of development, has been my self-inducement into the world of artsy individuals. I don't know how it took me so long to take my blinders off; but somewhere between my growing love affair with painting, Philosophy 110, Sun Dance Film Festival, the Brandi Carlile Pandora station and just removing myself from the mindset of personal barriers and limitations something clicked. I so appreciated a weekend spent in Midway with some of Emily's art history friends, so so much. We stayed up for hours analyzing ever ridiculous part of a film we saw up at Sun Dance, which led to politics, which led to people and at some point, amid all our talking I figured it out. I so enjoyed these people because I am one of these people; wringing every ounce of meaning and reason out of things is pretty much ALL I do.

Anyway, like always, I have to apologize for the melodramatics. My brain has a flare for excitement, and tends to talk in absolutes and extremes. I guuuuess my point is that I'm happy for the things I've learned, overwhelmed at the moment, and seriously eager for the future.

Isn't she the greatest? Emily Larsen comin attcha Berlin, Germany 2012